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NOT A JOKE: Titanic II Trailer. (No Kate and Leo)

by Red Beard on July 28, 2010

I know movies like this exist. This one just makes me laugh so much. How ridiculous. Wonder if it will become the most successful straight to DVD release. Titanic II - TrailerUploaded by dreadcentral. - Full seasons and entire episodes online.

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Black Beard’s Review of Films Everyone’s Already Seen: Avatar

by Black Beard on May 1, 2010

I managed to see Avatar in 3-D last week, and influenced by the consensus of reviewers who concluded that the film looked good but was ultimately hurt by a terrible story, I entered the theater ready to dismiss the graphics as merely a step beyond what we’ve come to expect from Pixar and to be ...

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The Losers Lives Up to the Name

by Red Beard on April 30, 2010

"The Losers" is all style and no substance. The biggest surprise is that it wasn't directed by Michael Bay. There were so many slow motion and moving camera shots that I swear director Sylvain White must've watched every Bay film before shooting. Nearly every scene is in broad daylight, which is a dead giveaway that the ...

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Double Feature: Clash of the Titans and Hot Tub Time Machine

by Red Beard on April 10, 2010

CLASH OF THE TITANS Outside of my family I think I'm the only person I know who has seen "Clash of the Titans" from 1981. My parents showed it to me and I also remember watching it in school. We were talking about mythology or something and so we watched the movie. (I'm a product of ...

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4 Great Movies Set for a Hollywood Reboot

April 1, 2010

Some great news coming out of Hollywood today as a slew of new reboots have been announced. Some are planned to begin production in the next month. To be honest I can’t be happier to hear of all of these reboots.

BACK TO THE FUTURE
According to The Hollywood Reporter, J.J. Abrams has shown a considerable amount [...]

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Kathryn Bigelow is Queen of the World and The Blindside is Racist

March 8, 2010

First of all, let me just say once again that Helen Mirren is the sexiest woman on the planet. Well, second sexiest, my fiancée is the first of course. Okay, now that I have that out of the way; let’s talk about the Oscars.

I want to be the first to thank the [...]

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The Best Damn Academy Awards Poll Period

February 17, 2010

Who will win what? Cast your votes for each category and compare them to all the other readers. Head over here to print off your own ballot for the Oscar party that I know everyone is having.

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Why Avatar and 3D Movies are Destroying America. Oh and J.J. Abrams is Still a Character Raper.

February 9, 2010

I was unfortunate to have been born in a post Smell-O-Vision world. My late 20th century birth has forced me to rely on my imagination in relation to smell. I also missed the first push for 3D films. I donned the ol’ blue and red glasses once or twice as a child and I was [...]

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The Academy Award Nominations: Why the Hell Do People Think Avatar is Good?

February 2, 2010

The Oscar nominations are out. I’m not sure what to say. First why the hell do people think that Avatar is a great movie? I saw it. It was fun. The effects were impressive but it was not a great movie. It is not one of the top ten movies of the year. I was [...]

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Black Beard Fixes the Pulitzer Prize and the Academy Awards and Still Finds Time to Mock Post-Modern Literature

January 26, 2010

What is it about Modernist Literature that makes it superior to most contemporary novels?  The material.  True, I find much to dislike in the stylistic trends of Post-Modernists—the derivative experimentalism, the ironic pose assumed in narration, the weird character names—but none of this is quite so offensive as the lack of depth, both in the [...]

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