Jules (Julianne Moore) and Nic (Annette Bening ) are lesbians. 18 years ago they went to a sperm bank, made a baby. 3 years after that they did it again. Each of them had one child from the same donor. Now their oldest Joni (Mia Wasikowska ) has turned 18 and her little brother Laser (Josh Hutcherson ) wants her to call the bank to find out about their donor father, Paul (Mark Ruffalo ). Of course hilarity ensues.
Lisa Cholodenko‘s The Kids Are All Right is receiving glowing reviews. Everyone seems to love it. I happen to be in the minority on this. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate it, I just don’t love it, and I’m a little insulted by it.
Although the film focuses on the marriage of two women, the film tries to be above that and talk more about the difficulties of all marriage, whether it be gay or straight, and even more importantly the difficulties of raising children.
I wonder about he origins of the script. Did Cholodenko and co-writer Stuart Blumberg first decide to make a movie about marriage and then add in the gimmick that it be a lesbian marriage or did they say, “We should write a movie about kids meeting their sperm donor”?
Either way, on the surface the idea is generic and boring. Which this film is if not for the great performances. Sure I laughed out loud many times, but what did I take away from the film? Marriage is tough? Kids are tough? Growing up is tough? Being a lesbian is tough?
To be honest, if I were a lesbian I’d be a little offended. Don’t read anymore if you don’t want the movie ruined or if you haven’t seen enough movies to realize what I’m about to reveal was going to happen.
Jules and Nic have a rocky relationship. Nic doesn’t feel appreciated. So what does she need to get her life back on track? Paul’s big fat cock.
After several fuck sessions in Paul’s house Jules feels a little more confident. It didn’t exactly empower her, but that cock was the catalyst she needed to get her marriage back on track. His cock helped her and Nic bring all of their problems to the surface and ultimately move past them. Sure she only fucked him a dozen times or so, but she loved it. It didn’t change her, she was still a lesbian in the end, but really? To all of my lesbian readers, which I’m assuming there is at least, do you think a nice hard cock will fix all of your problems? Well, Cholodenko thinks it will.
Every character in the movie is flawed. Movies are about watching characters facing those flaws and changing or not changing. Everyone was given that opportunity and in the end everyone grew, the kids and the moms, but for some reason Paul wasn’t afforded the same courtesy, and I’m not sure why. Paul was aloof and without direction, but after meeting “his” kids he started to change, and was a big part of each character’s changes, see above. Sure, he jumped in without thinking, and made some horrible mistakes, but so did everyone else. But the film ends with Paul on the outside, still an outcast and still alone.
People want to argue the film is about marriage and child rearing and that the main characters just happen to be lesbians. I don’t subscribe to that idea because in the end a fairly harmless Paul was cast aside like a piece of shit. He was nothing more than a sperm donor, and I wonder if Cholodenko has that same perception of men everywhere. Should we all just jack off into a cup and quietly leave the world for the women? That’s what The Kids Are All Right taught me.
