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May 2010

Quite the lofty goal for this post, but if the writers at We Have Beards are one thing, it’s arrogant. I mean confident.

My writing career started in college on the school newspaper. I like to pretend like I was a journalist, obviously I’m still pretending with this blog. Nevertheless, my love of newspapers started long ago. I still enjoy reading the newspaper today. That’s why it’s so heartbreaking to know that newspapers and magazines are slowly dying out. I know, I know, some of you might argue that they will never die. And they might not. I’m hopeful that they won’t. But the most important thing to me is not that the physical paper continue to exist, it’s that the quality of the reporting remain available to the masses.

I write a blog. Obviously it’s the greatest blog in the world, but I’m not winning a Peabody, and rightfully so. I don’t hold the “reporting” from We Have Beards up to the standards of the Wall Street Journal or The New York Times. My goal is to write a fun blog for discussing movies, music, literature and food. The great things in life.

As more and more people begin to replace their daily paper with bloggers like me as their news source, I begin to worry about the future of our country. And of course children like Ponijao. (She’s so effing cute!)

What I’m getting at is I have three ideas that I want to propose to save the papers, or at least delay the inevitable. Now, I know these ideas are brilliant, and I know that the big papers read this blog religiously, so if any paper decides to follow through with these ideas, you need to give me credit and some money. Just a little. I’m easy. Like really easy.


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Crowdsourcing is a huge buzz word right now in the tech industry. YouTube just launched Google Moderator to enhance feedback from YouTube users. Then you have sites like Waze, NotchUp, Fashion Stake and Feedback Army. It means two things: free labor in some cases, but most importantly a pre-approved marketable product. Fashion Stake is the most obvious example. Essentially designers can post designs for new clothing lines or pieces. People will vote on them, give feedback, and ultimately if the design is successful the designers can sell their new clothing line on Fashion Stake.

So why am I telling you this? Well, it appears as if Luc Besson, the genius behind “The Professional”, is bringing crowdsourcing to filmmaking with his new website We-Are-Producteurs.com. The site launched today.

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So, it’s a slow movie week for me. I haven’t watched much, and I know all of you are dying for more of my reviews, but alas I have nothing. So here’s a video to tide you over. It combines parts of my last two posts: Iron Man and Babies.

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Look at that poster and tell me Ponijao isn't the cutest...

You’ve all seen the trailer for “Babies”. The one with the adorable little boy and girl from Namibia sitting in the dirt, smashing things with rocks. The girl decides to take a little plastic bottle from the boy. Of course the kids fight over it, the boy bites the girl, and she runs away crying. It’s cute. Yes, I’m saying crying children are cute.

Anyway, the documentary is just a continuation of the cuteness as it follows four newborns until just after their first birthday. Baby Bayar is from Mongolia. Hattie is from San Francisco. Mari is from Japan. And of course the cutest, most amazing baby is Ponijao from Namibia.

Which is the ugliest you ask? Well, that would be Hattie. What? If there’s a cute one, there has to be an ugly one. It’s not my fault. I guarantee you that everyone that leaves this movie asked each other, “Which was your favorite baby?” Or, “which baby did you think was the cutest?” I know I asked all of my friends. Some tried to pretend like it was mean to rank them too, but eventually everyone voted.

Sure Hattie’s just a kid. And she can’t do much about what genes she was born with, but that’s life. I’m just helping with her education. We judge people by their looks, and Hattie was not the cutest. I’m not saying she’s the ugliest baby in the world, I’m just saying that she’s the ugliest of four babies from around the world. Completely different.

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Iron Man 2: More of a Prequel of The Avengers than a Sequel to Iron Man

May 17, 2010

I’m not an idiot. I know that studios don’t really care about making good movies anymore. All they really care about is getting my hard earned money from my pocket. The only thing I hope for from movies like “Iron Man 2″ is that they at least try to hide it. Pretend like you care [...]

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Black Beard’s Review of Musicians Everyone Has Already Discovered: Jack White

May 15, 2010

I watched the documentary It Might Get Loud recently, which made me certain of something I’ve long suspected: Jack White is the most interesting musician around today. Now, for many years I struggled to reconcile my enjoyment of The White Stripes with my skepticism about Jack White’s attempts to strictly control their image. Actually, it [...]

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French Toast Muffins and a Surprise for Red Beard

May 15, 2010

Red Beard has been bothering me for a while to blog about food. It might be because I’m a good cook, but it’s probably because he likes to eat. The plus side is that I love to cook and the one thing that I love more than cooking is eating, so I’m kind of in [...]

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Michael Caine is Harry Brown

May 13, 2010

The revenge thriller is such a common plot that it deserves to be raised above sub-genre and simply become a genre. Most revenge thrillers are about a seemingly weak man, rarely is it a woman, who after failing to get the right people, i.e. the cops, to stand against a menacing threat, takes the matter [...]

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Theatrical Trailer for Christopher Nolan’s Inception

May 9, 2010

If you went to see “Iron Man 2″ this weekend you might have been one of the lucky few theaters to see a trailer for Christopher Nolan’s new film “Inception.” If you weren’t one of the lucky ones then lucky for you I’m here to take care of you. Christopher Nolan, still riding high from [...]

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Machete Red Band Trailer with a Special Message for the People of Arizona

May 5, 2010

WARNING THIS IS A RED BAND TRAILER. SO IT’S GRAPHIC.

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