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Kick-Ass Sucks Ass

by Red Beard on April 16, 2010

I think the easy route for criticism of this film is its over-the-top violence. Sure, hearing an 11-year old girl say cunt and killing everyone in sight is not something you expected and/or want to see on a Friday afternoon, but let’s be honest, 11-year old girls are doing some pretty fucked up things as I type this. Does the movie say that it’s okay to do these things? Not exactly. It’s just like every other movie like this, where the violence is justified because the people being killed are bad guys. Hell, I’m from Texas, and that’s our justification for executing nearly a 100 people a year. Does that make it right? No.

Roger Ebert stirred up a little controversy over the film on Twitter when he attacked it’s violence in his review and the micro-blogging website: “Shall I have feelings, or should I pretend to be cool? Will I seem hopelessly square if I find “Kick-Ass” morally reprehensible and will I appear to have missed the point?,” Ebert wrote in his review.

Ebert went on to give the film one star. I feel that he’s a bit of a hypocrite considering he gave “Inglourious Basterds” four stars. And lets be honest, the violence in that movie is pretty tough to stomach at times. Is Ebert right? Is Kick-Ass too violent?

Well, I think that’s something that every person has to decide for themselves. Every adult that is. It’s pretty clear from the previews and the big fat R rating that the film received that it’s not for kids. Like I said, dwelling on the violence is lazy. The real problem with this movie is the story, the acting and the overall direction. It’s not a good movie. It’s a fun movie from time to time but it’s not something worth seeing again. It’s barely worth seeing the one time.

The premise is simple: Ordinary people becoming superheroes to set the world right. Of course the people are kids. And heroes is really inaccurate. The most violent and disturbing character in the film is Hit-Girl played by Chloe Grace Moretz, but sadly she’s also the best thing about the movie. The movie should have been called Hit-Girl.

Yes, yes, I know it’s based on the comic “Kick-Ass” about a boy who dons a green wetsuit and becomes the crime fighting hero Kick-Ass. However, in the movie the Kick-Ass character, played by Aaron Johnson, is annoying. I don’t think I’ve seen a more poorly casted role this year. Fortunately for Johnson it’s only April so we have 8 more months for someone to be worse than him.

Kick-Ass also has no story. There is nothing in his storyline to push him forward. Hit-Girl and her father Big Daddy, played by Nicolas Cage, are driven by the notion of exacting revenge for the death of Hit-Girl’s mother. Kick-Ass just wants to get laid. Which I’ll admit, was enough to get me through the “American Pie” series but in this movie getting laid is not enough.

So yeah, Kick-Ass is violent but it’s clearly marked with an R. It’s not Hollywood’s responsibility to make films that won’t adversely affect your children. Hollywood didn’t bang their mom. So if people are worried about the violence then try this out: BE GOOD PARENTS. Don’t let your kids see it. If they do then you know what, you’re a bad parent.

If your kids sneak off and see it or see it in the future at a friend’s house, you’re still a bad parent. My parents knew where I was and what I was doing at all times. And when I did something that I shouldn’t have been doing or deviated from the plan, I got in trouble. And not you-can’t-play-Wii-for-a-week kind of trouble but ass-hurts-to-sit-down kind of trouble. (Don’t be confused and think I’m condoning corporal punishment, I’m not. I am however encouraging good parenting.)

Anyway, Kick-Ass is violent but more importantly it’s just a shitty movie.

  • VaginaBeard

    Please don't give anymore parenting advice!

  • http://www.wehavebeards.com/ RedBeard@WeHaveBeards

    You know what, I've had pets before, so I'm pretty qualified.

  • morganswitzer

    I am a parent and I do know better than to take my child to this movie. What is funny is that my father did not realize what kind of movie this was and wanted to take my 8 year old son. He thought it was just a fun superhero movie. I am glad that I was given the heads up on the content. Thanks

  • Dannyboy

    the review is horrible. Next time watch the movie with your eyes open as you clearly missed some key elements (for example the story)

  • http://www.wehavebeards.com/ RedBeard@WeHaveBeards

    I did watch the movie with my eyes open and I noticed an attempt at a story, but never actually saw one materialize.

    Thanks for reading!

  • http://wehavebeards.com/2010/10/07/let-me-in-let-the-right-one-in-who-can-tell-them-apart-oh-yeah-one-is-a-masterpiece-in-filmmaking-and-the-other-is-a-rip-off/ Chloe Moretz and Kodi Smit-McPhee Make Let Me In Worth Watching — We Have Beards

    [...] Owen played by Kodi Smit-McPhee, Boy from The Road, was amazing. And Chloe Moretz , Hit-Girl from Kick-Ass, was even more amazing. Director Matt Reeves‘ best success in making this film was in [...]

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