Kathryn Bigelow and her Big-O-Win (Sorry, couldn't resist)
First of all, let me just say once again that Helen Mirren is the sexiest woman on the planet. Well, second sexiest, my fiancée is the first of course. Okay, now that I have that out of the way; let’s talk about the Oscars.
I want to be the first to thank the Academy for not recognizing Avatar as the Best Picture or James Cameron as the Best Director. Avatar is still a crap movie. Just being nominated and even winning awards for the special effects doesn’t validate the film. Neither does an impressive box office. Let me be very clear: AVATAR IS A CRAP MOVIE! Now I used all caps and an exclamation point, so I’m pretty sure that means that it’s official.
A friend or family member or someone, hell I’ll take credit, but someone I know said that Avatar was a mixture of Fern Gully and Pocahontas . I think that sums it up perfectly. If I hear one more thing about James Cameron’s great vision I will jam pencils into my ears and dig out my eyes with a spoon. I’ll tell you what James Cameron’s vision looks like: $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
My advice to Cameron is to take some of your Avatar money and buy some food for your wife or cast her as Skeletor in a blockbuster film adaptation of He-Man.
Wouldn’t it have been awesome if Kathryn Bigelow had stood up there after kicking Cameron’s ass held her arms out in a V and shouted, “I’m queen of the world.” That would have been the best Oscar acceptance speech ever. I bet she’s reading this now, kicking herself for not doing it. Did anyone else see the 60 Minutes story about her where they interviewed James Cameron? How crappy a divorce do you have when one of the greatest moments of your career is tainted by the constant presence of your douche ex-husband? Poor woman. As if being married to him wasn’t bad enough.
All of the other wins were expected. There weren’t really any surprises. When The New Tenants won for Best Live Action Short I was a little pissed. When I ranked the shorts that one was at the bottom, but when I saw it I knew it would win because it is the kind of bull shit that the Academy always recognizes as quality. Just like The Blind Side .
The Blind Side is the perfect example of Hollywood mediocrity. Every year America sets a new low in its recognition of quality in filmmaking. You can see the evidence in the success of Avatar and more evidently in the plethora of awards Sandra Bullock received for her role in The Blind Side.
I watched the movie. I did. I sat through it and I saw no spark of brilliance from her. I saw the same Sandra Bullock that has been limping through role after role for years. I just don’t understand. Can someone please explain it to me? I think it must be white man’s guilt or something. I think it is definitely racist. Only white people would vote for Sandra Bullock as a white woman helping a troubled black teen over Gabourey Sidibe who played an actual troubled black teen. At least the Razzies recognized her as what she really is: A Bad Actress.
