Click to See in 3D.
I was unfortunate to have been born in a post Smell-O-Vision world. My late 20th century birth has forced me to rely on my imagination in relation to smell. I also missed the first push for 3D films. I donned the ol’ blue and red glasses once or twice as a child and I was a little freaked out. Now we have Real D, 3D without the annoying blue and red shades. It’s pretty realistic. Although the images are distorted and push at you in a cartoonish fashion.
Is it better? Yes, by far. But most things are BETTER than they were 20 years ago. Well, technologically speaking. When I watched My Bloody Valentine: 3D I was pretty sure that pick axe was going to take out my eye. But it didn’t.
Avatar broke world box office records with 65% of its money coming from 3D screenings. There are at least 17 movies coming out in 3D this year. 3D is the new thing. So how is it destroying America?
Well, I read a rumor today of Jaws being remade as a 3D film. First off the original Jaws 3D was a huge bust but I’m not talking about remaking Jaws 3 but Jaws. Tracy Morgan is rumored to play Matt Hooper, the role made famous by Richard Dreyfuss. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Just to be clear, I don’t actually believe this will happen. I don’t think the powers that be are that fucking crazy. Yet.
But Hollywood is like a powerful political party. They leak things and see how it plays out. If America responds positively to a false rumor about Tracy Morgan starring in a remake of Jaws then I guarantee you studio execs will be beating on his door begging him to do it.
Although this will turn out to be fake, and 3D really can’t be blamed for it entirely, it is a clear sign of the lengths studios will go to make billions of dollars. It’s not a new argument to say that Hollywood no longer makes great movies or even cares to make them. But the success of Avatar and particularly in the 3D world is sparking ridiculous rumors like the one above but more than likely these are the types of ideas rolling around in the minds of studio executives.
We’re living in the age of The Reboot, the hip new phrase meaning shitty remake. Remake has such a stigma associated with it that the birth of the term reboot was the most brilliant thing to come out of Hollywood in 10 years. Now people can sit around and call J.J. Abrams a brilliant filmmaker and forget what he really is, a character raper.
If anything Hollywood is nothing but cheap knockoffs of past successes. Remember all of the shitty movies that tried to emulate the style of The Matrix? Obviously everyone is going to attempt to dissect every aspect of the perfect storm that was Avatar’s success and see which of them they can implement with their current strategy for the greatest return on their investment. The easiest and the one with the greatest actionable statistics is 3D.
My greatest fear is not that every movie will be remade into 3D but that all images in our life will be seen only in 3D. Next thing we know National Geographic magazine will become a pop up book. Why not? Apparently America is incapable of using their imagination for anything other than stripping other America’s from their hard-earned money.
The argument can be made that it is more enjoyable and fun. Which it is, I’m not going to debate that. A movie is a collaboration between the viewer and the film. It is your responsibility to take what the filmmaker gives you and take it to the next level. You’re supposed to be intellectually engaged in a movie. You’re supposed to be challenged to make it real on your own. It’s sad enough that few films challenge us with a story anymore but now they’re taking away our ability to make a two-dimensional world into a three-dimensional world.
What do you think? Are 3D films destroying America?
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