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Please Remove Cannibal Holocaust From Your Netflix Queue

by Brown Beard on January 30, 2010

I’m not one to put things I like in the order I like them in, but ‘flesh-eating horror’ is my sixth favorite genre of film. A movie about cannibalism from a sadistic Italian director should be right up my alley. It’s not. …just a few too many rape scenes for my taste. I’d feel better about myself if I were caught watching Silk Stalkings while wearing three tube socks than if caught watching just about every other scene in this film. You have to hand it to the Italians, though: Cannibal Holocaust (1980) is just part of a long line of disturbing pieces of Italian art that intensely captivates.

A bunch of animals were killed throughout the film. The monkey-rat looking creature was the hardest for me to watch. My late pet rat Gussy would be spinning in his gave, on that plastic wheel thing my mom and I buried him with if he knew I put this movie in the same DVD player I saw Ratatouille in. A beautifully gigantic turtle is decapitated as well, which was kind of hard to watch. People being tied up, shot down, bludgeoned, raped, chopped, and eaten was pretty hard to watch, too. Considered by many to be purely a snuff film, director Ruggero Deodato was arrested and charged with indecency: Hint, hint.

So…an American anthropologist searches the Amazon for a lost team of documentary filmmakers. This team, set out to shoot the primitive actions of rival cannibalistic tribes, they all died… horribly. The anthropologist not only discovers their skeletal remains, but finds all reels of their footage as well. Upon viewing their film, the civilized human being discovers that the crew of filmmakers are just as violently immoral as the primal subjects they document. As they rape and impale women, burn villages, and shoot down natives, all for the selfish sake of captivating the cinematic audience, the American anthropologist can only question who the true cannibals really are.

Don’t see it. It’s too brutal. Never mind, go ahead.

  • http://twitter.com/greatbeards/status/8439627251 WeHaveBeards

    Please Remove Cannibal Holocaust From Your Netflix Queue http://bit.ly/crgFnh

  • morganswitzer

    I do not even know where you hear about his off the wall movies. I have not desire to see this movie and I love Zombie movies. I have already added Zombieland to my blockbuster list. But I will pass on repeated rape and horrible violence. Thanks for the heads up.

  • Dmhutchinson

    you are a fag

  • http://www.wehavebeards.com/ RedBeard@WeHaveBeards

    That’s not what your mom said.

  • MustangLover69

    She must not have read the “Cannibal Holocaust” review.

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