…’cause it may rock your world a little too hard. If the phrase ‘Aliens are people too, man,’ resonates in the brain in that adorable South African accent while watching, you drank too much the night before. Stop the Blu-Ray and go watch Avatar. It’s much easier. Weeping for a race that doesn’t exist is too damn emotionally draining (and you can’t weep if ‘Oh, snap!’ comes to mind after all those Xtreme sequences in Avatarded). Spare your sad face for something real: Like the running crack on your windshield upon which you smeared multiple thumbprints to mark its progression.
I became involved with these CG creations on a level far from comfort. Human nails fall out of a human hand too, which really sucks to watch when you feel like you’ve either been embalmed, or just underwent a transfusion of tainted blood (both caused from the Popov and it’s now understandable cheap price). I teared up after seeing an innocent alien shot down for the benefit of human science. Thus, this film is part of an elite company, along with Turner & Hooch and *Thelma & Louise, of movies containing scenes causing me to cry uncontrollably.
*Not the end of Thelma & Louise, but the part when they put that cop in the trunk.
This is more warning than review. Your brain will thank my advice. Smoking salvia with your 6th grade abstinence teacher requires fewer recovery time from ‘that was f’d up land’ than watching this movie under the influence of last nights regret. Seeing the film in any other state of mind, and with like-minded non-alien haters, will result in much less of an ungodly mind-f of a movie experience.
On a scale of HITLER MUSTACHE -to- FLOPPIN’ FREE AT A STURGIS RALLY, I give District 9 a good ‘ol INDIE ROCK NECK BEARD: Very appealing, but can easily turn on you if not approached correctly.
And to those familiar with the end: What a beautiful prawn a man makes.
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