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January 2010

Mel Gibson is becoming a pussy in his old age. I say that with the greatest amount of respect that I can muster for an anti-Semite. Perhaps his pussification is due to the fact that he has had 49 children with two different woman. Ergo the reason I’m still a badass is because I have ...

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I’m not one to put things I like in the order I like them in, but ‘flesh-eating horror’ is my sixth favorite genre of film. A movie about cannibalism from a sadistic Italian director should be right up my alley. It’s not. ...just a few too many rape scenes for my taste. I’d feel better ...

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J.D. Salinger died on Wednesday, and so did Howard Zinn.  Their deaths are interestingly coincidental in that both writers share the commonality of having their careers defined by a single book—The Catcher in the Rye and A People’s History of the United States respectively—and also in the opposite ways each author handled the success of ...

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I can't say that I recall a movie off the top of my head where Denzel Washington was a quasi-martial artist. If you can then please help me out here. Based on the previews, The Book of Eli is trying to convince us that the 55 year-old actor can handle himself with a couple of ...

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Red Beard Has Found Another Christmas Present and it’s called iPad

January 27, 2010

I’m an Apple whore. Have been since I was 13. Having said that, I am not a designer or developer. I’m just a photographer and writer. I know how to get around my Macs very well but I can’t get inside them and do things. I am very easily swayed by their aesthetics. But don’t [...]

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Black Beard Fixes the Pulitzer Prize and the Academy Awards and Still Finds Time to Mock Post-Modern Literature

January 26, 2010

What is it about Modernist Literature that makes it superior to most contemporary novels?  The material.  True, I find much to dislike in the stylistic trends of Post-Modernists—the derivative experimentalism, the ironic pose assumed in narration, the weird character names—but none of this is quite so offensive as the lack of depth, both in the [...]

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Red Beard Finds His Christmas Gift on YouTube

January 26, 2010

If you’ve been wondering what to get Red Beard for Christmas, then you’re in luck. Criterion has just started a Criterion Collection channel on YouTube. The channel is for trailers of their special collection of great films. There aren’t a lot now but I expect more will come soon enough. As far as my gift, [...]

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Jack Bauer is Back and Killed Two on the First Night

January 25, 2010

Season 8 of 24 started last Sunday and hour 5 is tonight. I have been so busy that I only watched the first two hours last night. And Jack didn’t let me down. He took out two guys at once using an axe and a staircase. Guy number one took the axe to the chest [...]

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Black Beard’s Review of Trite and Dubious Behavior: Tiger Woods

January 22, 2010

I’m not going to write about literature today. Instead, I’m going to write about Tiger Woods, who was pictured on the cover of the New York Post yesterday outside of, if the press is to be believed, a rehabilitation center for sexual addiction (I refuse to link to the photo, as way of setting the [...]

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Opening Today: Reviews of Movies I Haven’t Seen

January 22, 2010

Movie trailers convince us whether we want to see a movie. They’re like windows in the red-light districts of Amsterdam. If you choose the right window you have a good time, if you choose the wrong window you get crabs. So as a service to the public I’m going to tell you why you should [...]

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